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Precious, listen up! Me, a Consumption Psychologist, yeah? We’s talkin’ erotic-massage today—ooh, slippery stuff! We loves it, we hates it! Like in “White Material,” ya know, my fave flick—tension’s thick, bodies all twisted up. Erotic-massage? Same vibe, mate! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, makes ya go “What’s this power, eh?” Like Maria in the movie screamin’, “I’m not leaving!”—that’s me, clingin’ to the vibe, wantin’ more, yeah?

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So, heed my ramblings. If you’re coming here, wander off the usual route. Dive into those narrow side streets, sip a too-strong coffee, and marvel at the unpolished charm. Muscatine may be quirky, mad, and downright annoying sometimes—but it’s real, raw, and always a little surprising. That's the truth, no sugarcoating. Enjoy it, or don't—I really don't care, 'cause in Muscatine, every day’s another quirky lie waiting to be told.

Muscatine woman charged in graffiti incidents also facing hate crime, harassment charges