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About Houston

Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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I stroll by the Kingman River sometimes. Dam, its banks are wild. True hidden gem, bro. I discovered a secret little boardwalk by Whispering Willows Park near Terre Street. Yup, that’s a lil somethin' if you love a bit of solitude and heart-to-heart convos. My dating site pals and I joke ‘bout how the river sparkles like “a star!” just like in the movies—majestic vibes, baby!

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