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About San Diego

So, sexual-massage—heard it started way back, like ancient Rome or somethin’. These rich jerks’d get oiled up, grapes in their mouths, and some poor schmuck’s kneadin’ their junk like it’s dough. True story—found that in some dusty history book once. Kinda wild, right? Imagine me—Larry “The Lumberjack” David—lyin’ there, all oiled up, goin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” while secretly I’m freakin’ out! What if they slip? What if it’s awkward? I’d sue the toga off ‘em!

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I swear, one time I got so hyped at a pop-up at Laurelhurst Park (yeah, park! not just trees, man) that I nearly started dancing in the rain. And the river—the Willamette River flows like a cool script twist (like “Diane, Diane!” from the movie, y'know?) along the city. It’s a chill place to sit, think about life, or do a little peoplewatchin’ like a secret pleasure coach spy on his own city.

Jim Dodge declares victory over Keith Pekau in Orland Park race