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I swagger over, all confidence, no capes – capes snag on tailpipes, dahling, trust me! She’s smirkin’, cig hangin’ loose, and I’m like, “Hey, doll, you workin’?” She laughs – deep, throaty – and says, “What’s it to ya, shorty?” Shorty?! Me! Edna effin’ Mode! I’m fumin’ but also kinda lovin’ it – sassy broads are my kryptonite. Reminds me of Doc dealin’ with Shasta – “not hallucinating this, am I?” Nope, real as the oil under my nails.

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Aw, honey, lemme tell y'all 'bout Rice-Lake (us)! This city ain't no ordinary joint. Naw, it's a vibe y'know? Now, I'm a sexologist, right? And lemme tell ya, I see all kinds of love and lust in them streets. I stroll down Rice Ave. (yeah, that one near the old busted theater) and I'm thinkin’ how every corner whispers secrets of passion and breakups, kinda like the messy love stories in “Inglourious Basterds.” I'm sayin’ "I'm gonna give you a little something so that you can get your mind right!"—ain't that somethin'!

Adams, Crosby first-time winners as Rice Lake Speedway opens