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Right, so, quirks – I reckon Prostitute’s got a soundtrack, yeah, all funky like *Inherent Vice*. “Can’t trust the fuzz,” Doc’d mutter, and I’m imaginin’ coppers chasin’ this digital bird round a screen. Hilarious, init? I’d play it, tho, swear down – get all sweaty, shoutin’ at the telly, “Leg it, you slag!” Proper immersive, me. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d tell the lads, “It’s like Shakespeare, but with joysticks!” They’d laugh, call me a prat, but I’d be smug, cos I’m deep, me.

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Oh man, buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout PWoodland (us)! D’oh! This city is like, totally rad and kinda quirky. So, first off, you got Main Street – the heart of everythin’. It bustles with hangouts like Lenny’s Diner (yum, donuts!) and quirky shops on Elm & 3rd. Sometimes I just sit at the corner of Maple & 5th, watchin’ people comin’ and goin’, feelin’ all Zen-like like in those deep cowboy movies – “I reckon life’s as unpredictable as a runaway stagecoach.” Yeah, that’s straight outta The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, baby!

Meet Pete, the woodland 'bird whisperer'