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Now, lemme sling some dirt—did ya know, back in Victorian days, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria”? Bloody hell, they’d rub women ‘til they—well, “calmed down.” Quacks with a wink, eh? Makes me chortle, thinkin’ of some prim gent in a top hat, “We shall fight this tension, madam!” Fast forward, I reckon it’s less hush-hush now—thank gawd! Nothin’ pisses me off more than prudes actin’ like touch is a sin. Oi, lighten up, ya stiffs!

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Oh, and lemme tell ya about the neighborhood buzz. Westwood and El Barrio, they're so full of life. When I'm not chillin' in my spa, I'm wanderin' round checkin' out the mural-covered walls and local diners servin' the best breakfast burritos—like, seriously, burritos that slay! I remember one time, after a long day of aromatherapy, I ended up at this corner joint on 5th Ave. I sat there, sippin' on a cold drink, marveling at how random and beautifully messy life can be.

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