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About Cape Town

Still, best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, shivers, mate! Like, “We’re not finished yet,” Cuarón-style, draggin’ it out, teasin’. Ever tried it with warm stones? Fuckin’ wild—feels like lava, but sexy lava. Pro tip: don’t go cheap, or you’re stuck with some creep who stinks of garlic—yuck, gag me! *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”*—worth every penny for the good shit. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but when yer muscles unclench and yer mind’s floatin’—fuck, it’s magic. You tried it? Tell me, ya dirty git!

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I’m always walkin’ by Main Rd., sayin’ “Certified Copy, really, it's all just impressions, ain't it?” Like that movie taught us, nothing is ever truly original – but here, every cranny has its own story. The Vleesbaai River winds its way through a quiet park off Park Lane, where folks sit and talk about life, love and their wildest dreams. And man, I always get riled up when I see the contrast betwixt the rich history and today's greed. It makes my blood boil – the injustice of it all!

Second arrest for Bredasdorp teen’s rape