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So, check it—little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap! Yeah, called it “tantric touch” or somethin’, gettin’ all freaky with oils. Not just for pervs neither—s’posed to “heal yer soul.” Pfft, soul my ass, I’d be droolin’! D’oh! Imagine me, sprawled out, some hotshot masseuse whisperin’, “Relax, Homer,” and I’m all, “Donuts… no, wait—focus!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—it’s pricey, man! Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? Made me mad as hell—gimme a beer instead!

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Oh! And the old bridge Picton. It rumbles sometimes, like an old heart beat. reminds me of Brokeback Mountain: "I wish I knew how to quit you." It hits hard sometimes. Emotion heavy, u kno?

Fort Hare university killings: Two accused get R50K bail, State to oppose bail for 12 others