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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Then there’s the oh-so-vibrant neighborhood of Delftsewallen – oh, how I love them cobble-stoned alleys and quirky little biz spots! I might get all riled-up when a tourist cuts in line at my fave patio spot, but hey, life's too short for bad vibes. Even when I’m mad, I just laugh it off – "This is the kind of life that’s just a heap of taxes and miracles!"

Full coverage of Jong AZ vs Dordrecht game on Monday 26th of August at 18:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.