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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses. Some nights, I’m sittin’ there, swipin’, thinkin’, “Am I too old for this shit?” Hurts the pride, y’know? Then I’m like, nah, Tony don’t quit! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like war sometimes – you vs. the crazies. Worst part? Dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a résumé. Yo, fellas, chill – nobody’s hirin’! Sarcasm aside, sex-dating’s a gamble, but when it hits, oh man, it hits. Like defusin’ a bomb and walkin’ away – “I’m untouchable, baby!” Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think?

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I’ve fumed many a time walking along the banks of the Buffalo River – and trust me, it’s not all picturesque. Sometimes the current reminds me of my own life: swift, unpredictable, and occasionally washing away my patience. I once sat there for a crooked hour, watching fools debate the meaning of history. "Look at that!" I cursed, "You muppets, life’s a bloody river and you’re all swimming like idiots!" And damn, those words echoed in my head like a Gordon Ramsay rant.

Makhanda man wanted for double murder