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About Johannesburg

I’m happy when it’s done right, tho. Like, not creepy, but connective, ya know? It’s supposed to relax you, turn you on, make you feel alive. But ugh, some places are sketchy as hell. I read about a spa in Nevada that got busted for, like, illegal stuff, and I was like, “Shocker!” People ruin everything. Still, when it’s legit, it’s amazing. They use oils, feathers, even hot stones sometimes. Hot stones! I was surprised how good that feels, not gonna lie.

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Neighborhoods? Oh boy! There's what locals call the Noodle District – not for pasta, dude, but for the insane mix of art, music, and street food. Crazy little cafés where beans fly like confetti (well, almost). And then there's Mystic Bend – perfect for late night strolls, lamp-lit dreams, and random deep thoughts about life that hit you like – bam, headless style: “I'm not here, I swear!”

When visual art makes you dine with kings: 15 famous South African artists