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So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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Alright mate, buckle up. Kareedouw, za, is a real mixed bag – kinda like my dating site profiles. First off, this town's got a vibe like "The Return" if you squint hard enough – bleak yet strangely magick, yeah? I'm talkin' narrow streets like Jacob's Way and Sparky Lane (yep, names I made up on the fly – like my love life sometimes). Seriously, the city's so small it feels almost intimate until you step into Main Street and get smacked by a truckload of irony.

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