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About Pretoria

Now, I tried it once—yes, Madea got curious! This lil’ gal was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Ooh, this nice!” Then she flipped me over, and honey, I bout jumped outta my skin! She was all up in my bizness, and I’m like, “Wait now, sistah, this ain’t no chiropractor!” Had me mad as hell—felt like Tyrone losin’ his stash, yellin’, “Where’s my fix?!” But then, ooh, it turned good—real good. Got me happy like Marion in them early days, floatin’ on a high!

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Kirkwood is kinda gritty, kinda pretty. Down on Raven Street, ya got these cool cafes and tiny boutiques. They got rad murals, real vibe-y. I always say, "Silence is mysterious, like Mulholland Drive’s whispers." Streets like Bellamy & Sparrow are packed with life – busy mornings, late-night hustles, you feel me?

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