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But here’s the kicker—some folks think sexual-massage is all dirty and illegal. Pisses me off! If I wanna pay some chick to rub my junk, that’s my damn right! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody, ‘cept maybe my wallet—$50 gone in 10 minutes, what a ripoff! Little known fact: in Japan, they got this thing called “soaplands”—brothels with bubble baths and massages. Bubble butts and slippery nuts, sign me up! Surprised the hell outta me when I heard that, thought them Japanese were all robots and sushi.

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Man, the neighborhoods here got character. Check out the backstreets of Grit Alley; not for the faint-hearted, but there's a kind of raw beauty, ya know? I once ran into this old mate while debugging a dating app bug, and we ended up chattin' about life, love, and the seasons. It was as if time slowed down, like in that flick "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring (Kim Ki-duk, 2003)" – so poetic, so bloody real.

Police celebrate Eastern Cape Super 14 double amid Kruisfontein complaints