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Here’s the real scoop—ya gotta find the right spot. Some places, all legit, tantric vibes, slow and steamy—others? Sketchy as a heel turn in the third act! Pro tip: if they’re whisperin’ ‘bout “happy endings” too quick, run, brother—it’s a trap! Oh, and the oils? They’re key—lavender’s chill, but peppermint? Wakes ya up like a splash of water in the squared circle! Funny thing—my buddy tried it, slipped off the table, buck-naked, crashed into a lamp! Laughed so hard I popped a rib!

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I been around enough to know quieter spots too. There's this dingy alley, Royal Crescent Alley – nearly missed it – where the artsy ones hang out after hours. I swear, if you listen hard, you can almost hear echoes of secrets whispered like those obsessive Zodiac digressions. It’s totally off the beaten track.

[WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT] Six people brutally killed in Eastern Cape village