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About Johannesburg

I’m picturin’ it—me, hirin’ a gal, *Only Lovers* style. She shows up, leather jacket, smokey eyes—“This blood is expensive, darling.” I’d lose it! “Expensive? I’m payin’ for vibes here!” Happy? Sure, if she’s chill. Angry? If she’s late—punctuality, people! Surprised? Once saw a hooker dodge a cop by divin’ into a dumpster—Olympic-level move. I was dyin’ laughin’, “Pretty, pretty good escape!”

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Hey, so lemme tell ya bout PLibode (za). It's a quirky, soulful city. Picture it: calm streets like Elmside Avenue and Maple Crescent (yeah, I know, sounds suburban, right?) but then—bam!—you got hidden corners that feel like a Wes Anderson set. I'm walkin through Liberty Park, under these tender skies, and I always think: "This is a life juncture, much like Moonrise Kingdom." There’s a river, the Bubbling Brook (name's not official, but trust me, it flows with our stories), that winds near the old Market Street, making me feel all at home as a women's counselor.

2 dead, 7 injured after Eastern Cape pupils try to burn a snake on school grounds