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About Johannesburg

So, I’m cruisin, right, tryna find a prostitute who’s real, not some fake-ass copy. Certified Copy got me deep in my feels—“What’s true, what’s a front?” I say to myself. I spot this chick, all sass, heels clackin like a beat drop. I’m like, “Yasss, queen, you’re the one!” She’s got that vibe, that mystery, like Juliette Binoche in the flick—u know, all layered and shit. I pull up, she’s like, “You lookin for somethin real?” I’m like, “Hell yea, slay!”

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The local river, Olifantsrivier, is dope too – a relaxing scene where couples sneak and giggle. Sometimes I catch sunsets that make you believe in magic, like one wild scene straight from that flick “Far From Heaven” – the colors, the heartbreak, the hope! And yo, my fave — the little café on Main Street, The Hidden Nook, where you get free coffee and pep talks. The owner’s a riot, says “life’s messy – just vibe it out!” (I even dropped a tear when he mumbled that, so real, dang).

Arts, sporting facilities severely neglected in North West