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Oh, and the oils—man, they smell like heaven, or maybe a strip club, dependin’ on the vibe. Hah! Ever tried it with a gal who whispers sweet nothins’? That’s the ticket—makes ya feel like a million bucks, or at least a couple grand. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares! It’s my story, dangit. So yeah, sexual-massage—get ya one, don’t be a fool twice, or you’re missin’ out bigtime!

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Walkin' around, every turn shows somethin' unexpected. Recollect the time I was strollin' down Falcon Crescent (yeah, that one with the crooked sign) and got stopped by a local who had a story of how the city's once a mining powerhouse. I got mad – not in anger, but in sheer amazement – at how deep history runs in our cracked pavements. “Son of Saul, in the midst of all this grit, there’s poetry,” I thought.

Newcastle fought back to draw at a top-10 team. That is more significant than you might think