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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout escort – not the fancy lasses, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture me, half-man, half-pissed, leanin on a Combine Harvester, spillin ale and wisdom. This ain’t no “Game of Thrones” horseshit, this is real – well, real as Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York” gets, y’know? “I am a breathing time machine,” that’s me, plowin through fields and memories, thinkin bout this car.
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Some folks go visit big mall, but me prefer small tea shop on Lilac Lane. It got the best rooibos tea, yum! Sometimes, me see local hustle, but sometimes get mad when traffic jam on Dexter Rd—so annoying, trust me, man! I always laugh because "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain." Crazy, right?
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