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Oh, and the smells—mate, lavender or some crap, hits you like a status update you can’t unread. Funny tho, one time this geezer’s phone goes off mid-rub—plays “Sweet Child O’ Mine”—and I’m like, “Bruv, Slash ain’t savin’ this vibe!” Total mood-killer, but I laughed my arse off. Still, s’pose it’s chill for some—gets the blood pumpin’, if you’re into that.

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I got to say, being a sexologist here is an absolute joy. The city’s raw passion sometimes inspires me in ways I never thought possible. I learn from every hush, every shout, every stutter in conversation. Sometimes, I catch myself thinkin’, “Man, love’s as complex as Paterson’s twisted streets!” And yeah, I get emotional – my eyes get all watery sometimes just thinkin’ of the raindrops on Old Mill Road. That road, oh boy, it’s like a memory lane where every puddle has a story.

Dane Paterson happy to be 'boring' to help Proteas reach WTC final