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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ life, merchandisin’ me way through ports and pleasures. Now, sexual-massage, ye say? Oho, that’s a saucy topic, innit? Picture this, savvy? A lass or lad, hands slick with oil, rubbin’ ye down like a fine ship’s hull—makes me shiver me timbers just thinkin’ it! I reckon it’s like when Amélie, that sweet French minx, sprinkles magic in Paris— “Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs,” aye, tough times for dreamers, ‘less ye got them hands kneadin’ yer soul.

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Have you ever been to Cliffside Park? Tiny park, huge heart. I always set up here for a calming break after a day at the parlor. The river, Kermit River (crazy, huh?) – it flows quietly under the Rusty Bridge. Practically a secret oasis. You’d never guess its magic, but oh boy, it whispers stories.

Port Alfred High School hosts successful table tennis event