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Oi, precious, we’s the Auctioneer now! Escorts, eh? We hates it! Slimy, sneaky business, innit? Makes me skin crawl, like them nurses in “Talk to Her” – “Limp as a rag!” All quiet-like, pretendin’ to care, but it’s all a show. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – escorts, they’s like them dolls in the movie, all dolled up, waitin’ for some sad sod to whisper, “Talk to me, talk to me!” Pathetic, yeah?

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I remember that one time, right outside my joint ‘round Eland Avenue, I got all excited ‘cos a mad art show popped up, proper unexpected. That day I nearly dropped my tools, swear! It got rad – like, one moment I’m rubbin’ shoulders, the next I’m in a film scene. "Everything’s a copy, but some copies are certified," I laughed, trippin’ on my own words. Lol, can’t help but mix biz wit the magic flicks, ya know?

The day that was: Devastating tornado in Randfontein? Young, petrified zama zamas, targeting spazas