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About Johannesburg

Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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Now, let me spill some tea about the local river – the Vaalcreek. It’s not your fancy tourist river, but it sure has character. The Vaalcreek runs through the outskirts in a crooked kinda way, remindin’ me of life’s winding paths – “What is the art of life? It is a constant readjustment to our surroundings,” I swear that’s a Charlie Kaufman moment comin’ at ya! Sometimes I sit by the creek, lost in thought, frustrated at times, mad at the world, but then nature calms me down. Its murmur is like a whisper tellin’ me, “Don’t worry, you’ll be back on track!”

Mpumalanga ex-cops rearrested for 2021 cash in transit heist