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About Myself
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About Pretoria
I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!
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You know, as a pleasure coach, I see things others miss. Like that quirky corner near the old mill – I swear, it holds whispers. And there’s the Defiant River, winding like it’s got secrets to spill. Boo-yeah, that’s the vibe here.
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