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About Johannesburg

Last week, I’m out, right, and this chick—legs for days—saunters up. “Need a date, hon?” she purrs. I’m like, “Heh, doll, I’m the date!” Made me happy as a clown in a circus—pure gold! But then—ugh—some creep cop rolls by, and she bolts. Pissed me off! Why’s the law gotta ruin my fun? Reminds me of that movie tension—“You’re wasting time!”—and I’m standin’ there, laughin’ at the absurdity.

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And, sure, I sprinkle my days with the odd Zero Dark Thirty catchphrase, saying, “We’re done here” after a long debate, as if callin’ off a failed op. Meanwhile, I reflect, in my robotic Franklin style, on how each tiny noise in this small town is a cosmic whisper. It makes me feel all flustered and oh so alive.

Lutzville farmer accused of driving over a 6-year-old boy for stealing oranges