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About Johannesburg

Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s some wild shit. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, you ever tried it? Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension buildin’ up like in *Caché*. That movie, motherfucker, it’s my jam—hidden cameras, secrets creepin’ out. Sexual-massage got that vibe, y’know? You’re layin’ there, butt-naked, wonderin’ who’s watchin’. “Who’s behind this shit?”—like Georges screamin’ in the flick.

Call to book

Now, neighborhoods? Pff, check out Newtown. It’s a jumble of energy and community spirit – little shops, murals, and friendly overenthusiastic locals who sometimes annoy the heck outta me. Ha! Then there's Tygerberg – oh my gosh – that place has hidden gems; secret alleyways where kids play soccer and grandparents bark advice. Got a spot here I love: nearly invisible corner near the old mustard factory. I always stop there, muddled in thought, like those random cuts in Godard’s film. Like, “Oh so cinematic, my friend!”

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