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About Johannesburg

Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m droppin’ some financial wisdom on ya about this WHORE of a stock market! Yeah, I said it, the market’s a damn WHORE sometimes, seducin’ ya with big gains then leavin’ ya broke as hell! Reminds me of my fave flick, “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” – that gritty Romanian vibe, ya know? Like when Otilia says, “We’re never gonna talk about this,” after some shady deal – that’s the market, man, messin’ with ya head!

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Then there's the little-known river, uMthunzi. It cuts through the outskirts. I sometimes take a stroll along its banks and swear I hear the whispers of the city secrets. It makes my massage therapy sessions feel almost magical. Sometimes, I get mad at the hustle, but then a wave of calm sweeps over me – you know, like those surreal moments in the movie.

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