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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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Now, the park, mate – oh bloody hell, Eden Park is where nature’s trying hard to hold on. We got Duckpond (yeah, seriously named) where ducks paddle like they own the joint, and the river Blunder that winds through the park, crashing along, sort of like my patience on a Monday morning. Honestly, the breeze there’s like a cold slap – wake ya up more than a good swearin’ session.

Edenglen High hosts induction ceremony for new learners