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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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So, Gemsbokspruit ain't huge, but it's mighty, with streets like Rooibos Road and Impala Street, where the sun sets in brilliant oranges over the quiet neighborhood of Deeptown. Man, every day I see new scars and hidden smiles on the faces of folks – kinda like "Zero Dark Thirty" moments, you know? "We’re on the edge," they'd whisper in the twilight of the alleys, but then, suddenly, it’s serenity in the local park, which they call Bushveld Park, a green gem in a concrete jungle.

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