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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, fictional, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Escort, yeah? Let’s chat about that gig. I’m thinkin’—escort’s a wild ride, innit? Like in *Caché*, that flick I bloody love—Haneke’s 2005 masterpiece. “Who’s watchin’ who?”—that’s the vibe escorts got. Always some geezer lurkin’, judgin’, like those creepy tapes in the movie. Escort’s a hustle—fancy birds or blokes, dolled up, struttin’ for cash. Ain’t just sex, nah—sometimes it’s arm candy, sometimes it’s chat. Surprised me, that! Thought it was all shaggin’—turns me out, some punters just wanna talk. Lonely sods.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like a kettle about to blow. Turns out, she just got into a fight with her boyfriend over by the Al-Fahaheel area. I mean, c’mon, who fights over where to eat? She orders a cocktail, and I whip up something fruity. She takes a sip and suddenly, she’s all smiles. It’s like magic! I’m thinkin’, “Maybe I should start a therapy service with drinks.”

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