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About Dornbirn

First off, its a beast—2,500 metres, jagged as hell, snow half the year. Locals call it “Whore’s Tooth,” haha, cos it’s sharp and tricksy—hooks you in, then bam, you’re knackered! Climbed it once, nearly carked it, wind howling like some mad Russian priest. Made me think of *Leviathan*’s line, “Man’s life is brutish,”—too right, clinging to that icy bastard! Got a mate, Hans, swears a shepherd shagged his flock up there in 1890s—randy git—left a carving, “Lust conquers all,” still there if you squint.

Gentlemen’s Club

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And the river? The small but snazzily named Bayerische Bächlein winds through the outskirts. Perfect spot for a midnight rant or heart-to-heart with your date – sometimes even makes me think, “I don't want to survive. I want to live.” Crazy, right? That line always hits me every damn time.