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Oh, and the movie—there’s this bit, “Love is a crocodile tear.” Sexual-massage can be that too, y’know? Feels real deep, but is it? You’re payin’ for it, pal! I’m laughin’—it’s so absurd. I tried it once, true story. Masseuse was great, hands like magic—pretty, pretty good—then she upsells me some $50 lotion! I’m like, are ya kiddin’ me? Robbery with a smile! Made me wanna scream, but damn, my shoulders felt amazing.

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First, lemme start with the basics – streets and landmarks, yes? Down in Via Garibaldi, you get that vibe – so many cute cafes and hidden corners. There’s also Piazza Risorgimento, a lively spot where locals kick it and chat, maybe even flirt a bit, if ya catch my drift. And oh, not to forget, the Abbey of San Pietro stands proud, a historical spot dat gives deep, soulful reflections – like, really deep, my friend.

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