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Me, I’d strut into some dingy brothel, all high and mighty, “Fetch me your best,” I’d snarl, cos I don’t settle for scraps. Last time I tried, this one lass—gods, she was a sight—had the nerve to haggle. Haggle! With *me*! Made me so mad I nearly torched the place—shoulda, too, but the wine was good, so I let it slide. “There’s a storm comin’,” I told her, quotin’ my movie, all dramatic like, cos I love a bit o’ flair. She just blinked, dumb as a post. Useless.

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I’m not gonna lie, I've seen moments that made me mad too—a developer wants to ‘modernize’ an ancient church side and wipe out all the historic charm. It gets me steamed, you know? Gritty rebellion in every massage knot I ease out. I always say, “Sweet baby doughnuts, preserve the soul!” And sometimes, my mind drifts back to feelings akin to those epic lines from The Grand Budapest Hotel: “There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse.” Except here, the glimmers are warm, and the chaos is art.

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