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About Golfito

Den dere’s da apps—ugh, Tinder, Bumble, all dat jazz. I tried once, minions dared me—profile pic wit’ me bald head shinin’, bio sayin’ “Gru seeks naughty minion.” Got matches, sure, but half da chats were bots or weirdos! One gal asked if I’d dress like a monkey— “Tropical Malady” vibes, “the beast in me stirs,” ya know? I was like, nah, lady, I ain’t dat kinky! Made me mad—where’s da real spark, huh?

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Hey man, lemme tell ya about PMercedes-Norte (cr). This city fascinates me. Streets twist and turn. Like Calle de la Paz. That street's rad, ever so chill. I run my spa right there. Yea, that’s right – a place of zen.

Signal No. 1 up in 19 areas due to Aghon