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About Puntarenas

Exaggeratin’ for a sec—imagine me hirin’ one! Apollo struttin’ in, all “I’m the champ, baby,” and she’s like, “Cool, that’s $500.” I’d laugh my ass off, then cry ‘cause I’m broke. Real talk, tho, escorts got stories. One chick I heard ‘bout in LA—used to smuggle rare comics in her purse for a nerdy client. Comics! Who knew, right?

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People here ain’t in no rush. They sip coffee slow, laugh a lot, and sometimes I swear the city talks back. I mean, the city speaks in riddles and funny gravelly truths – “I always knew there was somethin’ special.” See, I once got a call from a local fella on Montaña Vieja, sayin’ his back was all screwed up from dancing too hard at a festa downtown. I went over, massaged him, fixed him up a bit, and he said, “Man, you’re like a miracle, a real Royal Tenenbaum, savin’ the day.”

May 29-June 1: Orcas Island Music Festival