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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a parachutist firefighter, jumpin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, but today—erotic-massage, y’all! Picture this: me, green lil’ legs, floppin’ down after a fire, thinkin’, “Gee, I need a rubdown!” Erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom gig—it’s got history, man! Ancient Greeks were all over it, callin’ it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Rubbin’ to heal, but, uh, also to *feel*, ya know? Made me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ bout that!
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Thou wilt find many a park—Miniwald Park, forsooth—with benches for deep confabulations. I beheld lovers on rusted swings laughing amid fallen leaves, their secrets as raw as steel. O, how that brought mirth to mine heart, though I oft got mad at bureaucrats makin’ rules—srsly, why not let passion run free?
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