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About Cologne

I tried it once, right? This tiny spa in Queens—shady neon sign, sketchy vibes. Lady’s like, “Happy ending?” and I’m screamin’ inside, “Nuh-uh, keep it classy!” Made me so mad, like, don’t cheapen it, ya perv! But when it’s done right? Oh honey, I’m floatin’—happier than Fran snagggin’ a sale at Bloomie’s! That nasal whine in my head goin’, “Yaaas, touch me there!” *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

Resource Library

The vibes here, man – they’re unpredictable. I get mad sometimes ‘cause the streets don’t light up enough at night. But then, bam, I see a sunset over Neues Viertel and my anger melts – that’s where I chill with my crew. And oh, that district is insane; so many bars and hotspots at every corner. Literally nonstop beat, so alive!

Athlete of the Year: Jenny Rothfischer Realizes Her Championship Dream