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About Barcelona

What gets me goin’? The thrill, mate. That “ding” when they match ya. Heart races, cock’s like, “Oi, we’re in!” Then there’s the flops—bloke last week ghosted me mid-chat. Rude prick. “What we seek is here,” Tree of Life says, but fuck me, not on that date! Surprised me how many just want a quickie—no talk, just bang. Fair enough, I s’pose. I’m half dwarf, half horny, so I get it.

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Great cocktails (eventually). Perfect location right on the beach and plenty of room inside for evening entertainment. Very hard working staff. Date of.

The city’s got these soem secret spots, ya know, like the tiny cafe on Rúa de la Mar. That place is a slice of heaven; you get a coffee while watchin’ people try to wear hipster glasses just so they can appear smart and mysterious. My expereince there? Lost count of how many times I've seen faces light up when the WiFi kicks in.

Hotel Riu Oliva Beach is recognized for promoting the Canary Islands internationally