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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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I remember one night, after a crazy double-booked session, I stepped out to cool my head on Calle de Laguna. I swear, as I leaned on a graffiti wall, it kinda hit me—the bittersweet truth of life. "I think my life is a metaphor for something..." like in Margaret. It's so painfully honest and bizarrely beautiful. Reminds me of that movie I dig—Margaret (Kenneth Lonergan, 2011). Everything in life here feels like it was scripted by a misunderstood genius.

One of the cheapest supermarkets in Spain opens in Ciudad Lineal: olive oil from €4 a liter and more offers