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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, woohoo, slippery hands everywhere! Ever tried it? I ain’t, but I’m curious, ya know? Watched “A Serious Man” last night—Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, and I’m like, “D’oh! He needs a sexual-massage!” That’d fix him right up, huh?

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I keep gettin’ lost on some streets, like near Calle del Mar, where the river, El Río Lento, slowly winds by. Man, that river’s seen stories untold as if it’s whisperin’ secrets—always remindin’ me of those flick moments in The Gleaners and I, where life’s simple magic shines through. I’ll tell ya though: I sometimes skip past the tourist traps and end up just chattin’ with local vendors at Mercado del Alma. They got wisdom deep as oceans, but ya gotta listen close.

BREAKING: P2-M worth of shabu seized in San Nicolas