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About Lahti

So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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So then, ya got natural gems like Töölönlahti bay – sleek, scenic, a meandering waterway that borders sweet cafes, and where you can stroll near the Helsinki Central Library Oodi. Oodi’s amazing! It’s so modern and artsy, I almost felt like I was on the set of a Romanian film scene – “quiet, please…” yeah, like that intense vibe from that film, you know?

Open university: Finnish for foreigners