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So, check this—sex-dating’s like insurance, but hornier. You’re sellin’ yourself, pitchin’ “hey, I’m worth a fuck,” but half these clowns got no coverage—no personality, just dick pics. I seen profiles, analyzin’ em like claims, and lemme tell ya, 8 outta 10? Straight garbage. Dudes posin’ with fish—whaddya, a fuckin’ fisherman? Chicks with filters so thick, you meet ‘em and it’s like, “Who dis?!” Surprised me at first, now I’m just pissed. Wastin’ my time, capisce?

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So, I’m sitting there, sticky and annoyed, when I spot my buddy, Marc, walking down Rue de la République. He’s got that goofy grin on his face. I wave him over, and we start chatting. He tells me about this new café that just opened on Rue des Écoles. Apparently, they have the best lattes. I’m intrigued, but I’m still salty about my coffee disaster.

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