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I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, ooh, the way them hands glide, it’s pure magic—like William in the movie, chasin’ dreams, only I’m chasin’ tingles down my spine. “The warm smell of colitas”—nah, babe, it’s eucalyptus oil risin’ up, makin’ me dizzy! Fun fact: in Japan, they got this thing called Nuru—slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin’ like wet stock charts. Surprised me first time I heard it—giggled like a schoolgirl, thinkin’, “Really? Seaweed?!” Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for that kinda slick thrill after a long day screamin’ “Buy! Sell!”

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So, I’m tryin’ to calm things down, right? I’m walkin’ through the yard, and I spot this dude, Pierre, who’s always been a pain in my side. He’s got a shiv! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’?” He just smirks. I swear, if looks could kill, I’d be six feet under.

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