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So this chick, she’s workin my shoulders, and I’m thinkin, “This is some *Grand Budapest* magic—‘The society of the crossed keys,’ but for my knots!” She’s whisperin bout energy flow, and I’m like, “Girl, you get a car for that!” Felt so good I almost cried—happy tears, y’all! But then—ugh—she hit a sore spot, and I yelped like a dog in a storm. “Keep it gentle, hun!” I snapped, but she just smirked, all calm, like, “Pain’s part of it.” Bitch, what?! Made me laugh tho—sassy lil thing.

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But then, she pulls out a 20-euro bill, and I’m like, “No way! This is a family heirloom!” I try to refuse, but she insists. I’m like, “Fine, but only if you promise to come back!”