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Favorite part? The thrill, baby! Like when Jessica Chastain’s yellin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—that’s you, scorin’ a date after 50 swipes. Feels big, epic! But—ugh—sometimes it’s a bust. Catfish city! Met this chick once—profile said “athletic,” showed up lookin’ like she wrestled donuts. Surprised me, sure, but I rolled with it. “You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole”—that’s me, judgin’ too quick.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the café later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta finish this report first.” I mean, priorities, right?

Kifissos riverbed damage stokes concern