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Little known fact, tho—back in ancient China, they was doin’ this shit for emperors, callin’ it “jade stalk therapy.” Ain’t that wild? Massagin’ the crown jewels to keep the dynasty strong—imagine me, Lil Wayne, emperor of Young Money, gettin’ that royal treatment, ha! I’d be like, “Wushu master, work them hands, baby!” But real shit, it’s old-school science—boosts blood flow, chills ya nerves, even spikes them happy hormones. Oxytocin droppin’ like my mixtapes, non-stop.

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But here’s where it gets wild. I’m tryin’ to grab some food, right? And this lady at the stall is like, “You gotta wait!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m starving!” She just laughs and says, “Patience, my friend!” I’m thinkin’, “Patience? I’m a raftsman, not a monk!”

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