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Sex-dating, right? It’s this steamy jungle—apps like Tinder, Bumble, or them shady sites promisin’ “casual fun.” I’ve seen it all, investigatin’ claims of broken hearts and wallets. People out here lyin’ ‘bout their height, their job, their bloody *intentions*. Makes me cackle—mortals, so predictable! Like, this one bloke I tracked—claimed he got catfished, lost 5 grand to some “hottie” who ghosted. Turns out, she was a 50-year-old dude in Leeds. I’m screamin’, “What is this madness?”—pure chaos, and I’m here for it.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna climb up to Fort Lovrijenac. It’s a hike, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I’m sweatin’ like a pig by the time I get there. But the view? Holy moly! You can see the whole city. I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ like a king. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and some tourists laugh. I just wave it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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