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But real talk—prostitute’s glowy game? It’s dope, but it pisses me off how folks think she’s ugly. She’s a queen, man! That saggy skin, them gnarly teeth—it’s her charm! Reminds me of Joel in the movie, all messed up but real. I’d high-five her if I could, but she’d probs eat me. Ha! Oh, and her name—prostitute—came from some sailor seein’ her lure and thinkin’ “hooker bait.” Dirty minds, amirite?

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I’m thinking, “What a way to start the day.” But wait, it gets better. I’m walking down Ulica Kralja Zvonimira, and I spot this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I stop to listen, and this old lady starts dancing. Like, full-on twirling and everything. I can’t help but laugh. GJurgevac has its moments, ya know?