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But real talk—it pisses me off when folks think it’s all sleazy. Nah, man, it’s skill! Takes finesse, like playin’ guitar in that Coen flick— “You gotta pick with style, man.” Hands gotta glide, not just poke around like some amateur. Ever tried it? I did once—total surprise, felt like my evil soul got a timeout. Muscles all loosey-goosey, tension gone, poof! Best part? This chick I knew, she said pros use warm oil—makes it silky, not sticky. Little fact for ya, write that down!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the streets of Kastel-Novi, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, who knew people could walk so slow? I’m talking about the main drag, Ulica Kralja Tomislava. It’s a beautiful street, lined with cafes and shops, but I’m just trying to get to the lab.

Croatian winery named most beautiful in Europe