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About Split

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill my guts about prostitutes, ‘cause why the hell not? Picture this: I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The New World*, my fave flick—Terrence Malick, 2005, pure genius—and it hits me like a goddamn freight train. “The land is theirs,” Pocahontas whispers, all poetic and shit, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but what about the streets? Who owns those, huh? Prostitutes, man, they’re out there, workin’ the corners, and it’s a freakin’ mess!

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So, I head to the job site. We’re workin’ on this old building near the main square. You know, the one with the cool stone walls? Yeah, that one. I’m all geared up, ready to blast away. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to eat here! I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird’s like, “Nah, bro, this is mine now.”

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